Premarital Counseling

In her book Weddings, Emily Post explained premarital counseling:
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Premarital counseling, whether mandated or merely recommended, is a short-term way to work through important issues ahead of time and avoid conflict over the long haul. The purpose is to raise issues that might not have been considered, to discuss potential sensitive areas, and to give words to some of the concerns a couple may have but may not know how to express.

Most couples feel that by the time they are engaged, they know pretty much everything there is to know about each other. It is very likely, however, that they have not seriously talked through a range of issues, including their own physical and emotional needs, their respective goals and desires, and their thoughts on problem-solving and compromise. It's a good time as well to compare notes on having children, work and home priorities, coping with sickness or a crisis, money matters, and spiritual beliefs. People of different religious backgrounds often find clergy counseling extremely helpful, especially if they are planning to have children and raise them in a religious household.

This is also a good time to discuss with your future mate how family matters may best be resolved. A bride or groom might be entering into a marriage with children from a previous marriage or face parental disapproval or a divided family. They may have been on their own for a long time and aren't used to shared decision-making.

When premarital counseling is completed, it would be thoughtful of the bride and groom to write a thank-you note or a letter to their minister, priest, or rabbi to express their appreciation for the guidance they received.
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