The guest list

In her book Weddings, Emily Post reminds something to pay attention of the guest list:
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A guest list consists of a magical number of family and friends that 1) suits the size of your ceremony and reception sites, 2) corresponds with the level of intimacy desired for the wedding, and 3) can be accommodated within your wedding budget (an important reality). Traditionally, each family is allotted half of the desired total guest count, a figure largely determined by the person hosting the wedding. A way of starting to decide whom to invite is to combine four lists, thus formulating the master list. Start with lists from the bride, the groom, the bride's parents, and the groom's parents. It is necessary that everyone make up their lists realistically. As acceptances and regrets become known, the "weights" of the lists may vary.

Some decisions that may affect your numbers: Do you plan to include children? To invite single friends to bring guests? Neither inclusion is necessary, but both necessitate "proper etiquette," meaning consideration and sensitivity. If children are not invited, the proper way to communicate this is to write only the parents' names on the outer and inner envelopes. It is inappropriate to write "No Children" on the invitations. For the guest of a single friend, send a separate invitation to the guest, unless he or she lives at the same address.

Use all of the considerations just noted to arrive at a reasonable estimate. Then ask each half (or one-quarter) to compile a rough list of "must-have" guests, supplemented by "hopefuls" to be invited if there should be room. Remember to include in your count the officiant and his or her spouse, yourselves, both sets of parents, and your wedding party.

Cutting down an overambitious guest list is a difficult task requiring great tact, diplomacy, and even-handedness. If you know that distance will prevent certain people from attending, factor this in. To trim the guest list, try to redraw your lines equilaterally, bumping entire groupings of people--second cousins, work associates with whom you've never socialized, friends from the health club--to a "B" List. These people can be invited four weeks before the wedding if guests on the "A" List send regrets. Your list may read something like this:

• First Tier: immediate families (parents, siblings, grandparents, the couple's own children)
• Second Tier: extended family members (aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews)
• Third Tier: family friends (parents' close friends, long-time friends and neighbors, childhood friends and their parents, if close to you)
• Fourth Tier: parents' colleagues (associates, employers, employees)

This guide should be based upon what makes sense in your case. Any planning, of course, must be adapted to your particular circumstances. If you and your intended are established professionally, perhaps marrying for a second or third time, you will probably be paying for all or most of the wedding yourselves. Perhaps your wedding will take place far from your hometown or where your parents live. Under any of these circumstances, it could make sense to switch tiers three and four, as defined above.
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A word about contracts in wedding

In her book Weddings, Emily Post reminds a word about contracts in wedding:
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While the bride and groom are busy getting their personal documents in order before the wedding, they are also likely to be contracting for myriad services, from the photographer to the reception site to airline tickets and the honeymoon hotel.

How do you make sure that ultimately you get what you pay for? In a phrase: Get it in writing. If your agreement with the florist was to provide 12-inch-round floral centerpieces of roses and lilies and you arrive breathless at the reception to find jelly glasses holding daffodils, you have little recourse for a prive adjustment if what you agreed to is not written clearly in a contract. If your agreement with the caterer was for brandname liquor and you find the bartender pouring from house brand bottles, you will have trouble legally withholding full payment if that specification is not part of a contract.

It is assumed, of course, that you have done your homework carefully and checked references to ensure that you are not contracting with a disreputable or fly-by-night vendor, so you have every right to expect what you ordered. But you will have a hard time collecting if every requirement is not in writing.
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Wedding Insurance

In her book Weddings, Emily Post introduced wedding insurance:
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Weddings have taken place for centuries without wedding insurance, but no chapter on the legalities of getting married would be complete without including it as a topic of consideration for the bride and groom. In many instances, the cost of a wedding is so astronomical that the additional cost of insurance is worth every penny if it protects such a large investment.

Wedding insurance, offered exclusively by the Fireman's Fund insurance company (800-ENGAGED), may be taken out by a bride and groom to cover wedding catastrophes that are beyond anyone's control. Wedding insurance can also cover any retaking of photographs, replacement of lost or damaged wedding attire or wedding gifts, and public liability.

Wedding insurance is beneficial, for example, when a reception site suddenly cannot accommodate the party because a fire, damage, or a murder or suicide has occurred at the site, or an outbreak of a contagious disease has required a health department quarantine. Insurance will cover the cost of rebooking elsewhere.

If wedding insurance is a possibility, it is wise to consider every contingency when assessing the value and extent of the insurance you want. For example, if the reception site is suddenly not available and the wedding must be canceled because no other site is available on such short notice, other costs may be lost, such as formal-wear rental, car hire, hotel charges for the wedding party, and flower arrangements.
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Wills and Finances

In her book Weddings, Emily Post introduced wills and finances in wedding:
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When there is no pre- or postnuptial contract, the bride and groom would be smart to put their wills and finances in order so that the disposition of their money and property is clear to each other or, should both die, to their families.

Changing Beneficiaries
Finances include such things as insurance policies and beneficiaries on retirement plan payouts. Assuming the bride and groom want to make each other the beneficiary on any existing policies they own, the couple should call an insurance broker and talk to their payroll coordinator at work to see what documentation is required to make this change.

Decisions about bank accounts
How the couple will manage their finances is purely personal, but they should discuss their thoughts. They may decide to maintain a separate accounts as well as open a new joint account, or they may pool all their finances into a joint account. If the bride is maintaining a separate account but changing her name, she needs to take care of this paperwork when she changes other legal documents. If she is changing her name and has direct electronic deposit into her account, she needs to coordinate the account change at the same time as she changes her name at work.
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Domestic Partnership Affidavits

In her book Weddings, Emily Post reminds something to pay attention of same-gender marriage:
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Most experts agree that before a same-gender couple enters into a domestic partnership affidavit the two should consult with an attorney. This agreement is intended to create for same-gender couples who cannot legally marry conditions equal to those of married couples of opposite genders. An affidavit can, however, contain clauses that may be unpalatable to the couple. For example, in some cities, the couple is required to live together and to "have a close personal relationship." Critics claim this is discriminatory, arguing that legal marriage does not require that a couple live together or have a close personal relationship. Signing such an agreement brings few real benefits but may include being able to participate in a partner's health insurance plan. If these situations are not a factor, organizations such as the Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples suggest that partners desiring validation as a couple instead plan a wedding or other ceremony of commitment.
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Some considerations in Premarital agreement

In her book Weddings, Emily Post reminds some considerations in Premarital agreement:
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Disclosure
Because one person is usually giving something up by agreeing to a prenuptial contract, both the bride and the groom must fully disclose their finances to each other in advance. Most states require that the premarital agreement include separate listings that describe and show the values of each person's assets. If the couple chooses not to do this, they are preventing one partner from knowing what he or she is losing by signing the contract--and this may constitute fraud, which makes the agreement unenforceable. For this reason, and to ensure that the agreement is written correctly and legally, it is a good idea for both the bride and the groom to seek the advice of his or her own lawyer before entering into the agreement.

The Form of the Agreement
A prenuptial contract or premarital agreement must be in writing to be legally binding. It provides evidence of the terms of the agreement and demonstrates that both people understand and agree to the terms. It is generally legally binding as long as it is entered into voluntarily and without fraud and as long as it is reasonable and fair. It is not binding if a person is unfairly induced to sign the agreement or is coerced under excessive emotional pressure.

The Art of Diplomacy
It is often as difficult for those requesting a premarital contract to broach the subject as it is being asked to sign one. Again, a prenuptial contract may simply be a way of protecting assets you bring into the marriage in the (unlikely) event of divorce or death. A couple who communicates well has a head start in discussing a prenuptial contract. If you are the person requesting a premarital agreement, do so with tact, love, and honesty. Explain exactly why you are making the request and whether it affects the assets you amass as a couple (it shouldn't). Discuss the lifetime of assets you hope to build together as a couple--assets completely separate from the assets protected in the prenuptial agreement.
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Pre- and Post-nuptial contracts

In her book Weddings, Emily Post reminds the pre- and post-nuptial contracts in wedding:
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The matter of formalizing financial and legal matters through a prenuptial contract or premarital agreement is a sensitive one for brides and grooms, many of whom consider doing so a crass form of hedging bets on the longevity of the marriage. It is definitely an issue that needs to be discussed early in the relationship--and not something you spring on your partner-to-be right before the ceremony. Otherwise, serious doubts, hurt feelings, and even extreme anger can result.

Basically, a premarital agreement is a contract between two people that defines the rights and benefits that will exist during the marriage and after, in the event of divorce. It can expand or limit a person's right to property, life insurance benefits, or support payments upon death or divorce. Usually, it addresses the rights to property that each brings to the marriage, retirement plan assets, and how money accumulated before the marriage will be distributed in case of death or divorce. Without a premarital agreement, state laws define the rights and benefits of marriage. If the couple does not want to rely on state laws to determine their legal and fiscal fate, the premarital agreement allows them to make their own rules.

Although anyone can have a premarital agreement, it is most often used when the bride or the groom or both bring assets to the marriage that they want to protect in the event of divorce or death. This is particularly true for people marrying for the second or third time who want to make sure that certain assets are passed on to their children from a previous marriage.

What a prenuptial contract does nto cover is child custody and support. The courts will disregard the contract on this point and make a decision that is considered in the best interest of the child. The courts will also disregard a premarital agreement that, in essence, leaves one person destitute.

A postnuptial contract is one made after a couple is married. It can include the same categories of consideration, usually having to do with property and money, as those in a prenuptial contract. This contract is usually drawn if the couple realizes that children from a previous marriage or other family members would be unprotected in the case of divorce or death.
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